Seriously, I do what I am doing because I cannot stand the notion of suffering - anywhere in the cosmos, much less here at home on good ol' planet Earth. My motives practically since birth have been the same: I am sickened by violence, injustice and man's inhumanity to man and other creatures.
A little known fact about me is that I spent the first decade of my life becoming physically ill at the mere thought of violence. My family shielded me from violence, but still it managed to creep into my innocent psyche through images in the media, in movies, TV, books and magazines. I recall one Life magazine photo of a bloated corpse being pulled from an African river - a more grotesque sight my child eyes had never seen before.
I didn't vomit at that image, but I did puke all over the upstairs hallway after my older sibling explained to me what a "leper" was, as I was watching the movie "Ben Hur." As it was described to me, leprosy was "where your fingers and other body parts turn black and fall off." Not exactly a clinical definition, but it sufficed to have me running for the bathroom. I didn't make it.
Nor did I make it to the barf bag my family had brought especially for me to the drive-in movie theater, where we watched the scene of a man being hung in front of a jeering mob during the era of the American Wild West. Nope, that time the candy took the hit, as I grabbed the wrong paper sack. Needless to say, my siblings weren't thrilled at losing the candy.
Prior to the Ben Hur incident was a nightmare at grade school - fourth grade, when I was 9 years old. The kids in my class were surrounding one pupil, looking at a photo sent by his penpal and going, "Ooohhhh, grossss!" The children were also laughing, so I peeked over the boy's shoulder to see what they were looking at.
To my horror and shock, the photo was a picture of an American GI holding the severed heads of two Vietnamese soldiers - and smiling. I immediately backed up from this diabolical image, turned around and walked away, choking back tears and vomit. I was incompassionately pursued by the other children, who ridiculed me for not being a "good American," because these slaughtered human beings were "the enemy." Horrified, I looked to the teacher for relief, but she seemed to be joining in the finger wagging!
A Decisive Moment
That moment in my life was decisive. I knew then that I was very different from most people. I had seen an image of two human beings viciously murdered, while the others had seen "the enemy." I've never tortured or killed anyone, and I cannot even stand the sight of such atrocities; yet, I feel sometimes as if I'm all alone on this planet.
At some point during my first decade on this planet, it was suggested to me that, in order to survive in the world, I would need to become "inured" to its horrors. If by "survival" is meant that I couldn't go on barfing, I agree. And for many years I managed to push hideous atrocities out of my mind. A couple of decades later, I finally woke up, once and for all. I will never become inured to the horrors of this world. I am simply too emphathetic not to feel the evil that men do. Indeed, my empathy was the mechanism by which I would become sickened and vomit as a child. I would actually feel the terror, pain and suffering of individuals as they were tortured and killed. I am still feeling the suffering of my brothers and sisters globally, and I am compelled to expose this suffering and help it to heal.
Unfortunately, there are some very evil characters on this planet, and their sickness is infectious enough to have spread far and wide to what amounts to millions of people. These loathsome characters have created their clones and drones, desensitizing them to a mind-numbing level of violence against other living and breathing human beings. The crimes of these evil creatures are beyond comprehension, including but not limited to:
- torture of all manner
- floggings, lashings and beatings
- slitting throats
- hangings from cranes and other devices
- hacking off hands and feet
- rape - gang and individual of both genders
- child abuse, including rape and sodomy
- animal abuse
- "honor killings"
- female and male genital mutilation
- depriving women of air and sunlight, and subjecting them to sweltering heat beneath black or other dark-colored clothing
- acid attacks on women's faces and other body parts
Every day, day in and day out, these vile thugs are grabbing people - including children of both genders - against their will and doing heinous and evil things to them. In all too many places, these montrous tyrants get away with this despicable behavior all the time, because they are allowed and commanded to do so by the governing authorities, both political and religious. Psychotically, these sadists believe themselves correct and righteous in seizing other living, breathing beings against their will and beating, torturing and murdering them. These savages have such power that large groups of people are under their dominion - and they are not content to stop there.
Who is stopping these constant abuses against innocent human beings? Who can these voiceless victims turn to for respite and salvation? As a person of empathy, I am feeling their pain and suffering - and I am outraged by their persecutors' audacity and megalomania. This unmitigated hubris of vilely destroying God's creatures is absolutely ungodly.
And it must be stopped, because it's making not only me but all of us sick. If there has ever been any creator, it seems "he" has long abandoned his flawed creation to its own devices, much to the dismay of all rational and compassionate human beings. That is to say, all true human beings. I can only fervently hope that there are enough of us true human beings to stand up to these sadistic bullies wherever they may be found.